If you’re looking for a globe that colors in the United States with the American flag and also refers to the Gulf of Mexico as the “Gulf of America,” good news: it exists! And it comes with a bonus great lake. So, on Tuesday night, Stephen Colbert roasted the product thoroughly.
The late night host brought it up during his monologue after first skewering President Trump’s recent meeting with French president Emmanuel Macron, during which Macron had to fact check Trump in real time about funding France gave to Ukraine.
“That meeting you saw there clearly shows how warped Trump’s view of global affairs is, and now you can celebrate that view with a brand new product,” Colbert explained. “Because a company is now offering a special globe that features labels for the USA, the ‘Gulf of America,’ ‘Mount McKinley’ and nothing else.”
But, Colbert also noticed in the image of the globe online that there appears to be a stray body of water, just above the Great Lakes.
“Not only that, it comes with a bonus you won’t find in your outdated, accurate globes,” he joked. “Because this one has an extra Great Lake. They just tucked it up there, right there. At least, that’s what it looks like. It might be where they moved the old Gulf of Mexico.”
Colbert then offered a warning to anyone who might be thinking of buying this $250 globe (which is the sale price, it appears).
“Keep in mind, currently they only ship within the United States,” he said. “They would ship to other countries, but they have no way to know where they are.”
The same site also offers another globe on which the United States of America takes up almost the entire hemisphere, with a review from a customer saying it’s “a conversation starter.”
“That conversation? ‘What a beautiful home! Hey, did you know that your globe is wrong? Oh, you did know that? OK, honey, get the coats. We’re going. Let’s go. Let’s go,’” Colbert joked.
Balking at the price of the globe, the “Late Show” host then offered an alternative to any viewers who might be considering purchasing one of these pieces.
“For only $300, tonight I am proud to offer this beautiful blue dodgeball, yes, from the good people at Voight,” he said. “This blue dodgeball with America written on it in white Sharpie. No messy, confusing land masses here, just us on ball. Plus anybody that says that looks stupid, you can throw it at their face.”
You can watch Stephen Colbert’s full monologue in the video, above.
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