Jon Stewart opened his Monday night monologue by celebrating the Department of Government Efficiency for doing its job.
“DOGE has finally rooted out one of America’s least efficient government workers and marked him for dismissal,” Stewart said, referring to Elon Musk. The Telsa and X boss announced he would be moving on from the White House last week.
“He’s leaving his job to make more family with his time,” the comedian quipped.
But despite the applause from his studio audience, Stewart confessed that he’s “starting to feel bad for the guy.” “He’s only been there four months,” Stewart said. “He went from tech titan given a mandate to move fast and crush the deep state to guy who had a bad night at a Nashville bar he can’t remember.”
To further emphasize his point, Stewart noted that Musk looked “beaten down.” “He has this look on his face that I imagine his employees usually have. Black eye, thousand-yard stare. This dude has seen some s–t,” he joked. “Elon spent $300 million of his own money to get Trump elected, irreparably damaged his personal brand and almost all of his businesses and is clearly suffering some kind of issue.”
Most of Stewart’s monologue chronicled how Musk has changed over the past four months working in Trump’s White Hose, from reports that his ketamine usage caused him to pee himself to his recent “CBS News Sunday Mornings” interview during which he meekly asked to only talk about space. Ultimately, Stewart pointed to Musk’s decline as a lesson for all of Trump’s allies.
“You will go from reaching for mind stars to dissolving in a puddle of your own urine and shame and starting a fight club with your kid just to be able to feel. Because Trump doesn’t believe in anything, man,” Stewart said. Watch the full Comedy Central opening monologue above.
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