Stephen Colbert had a lot to say during his monologue on Thursday’s “The Late Show,” but one of the most delightful jokes concerned egg smuggling. He said that the primary culprit in this scheme is named Pablo Eggs-Cobar. A+ pun, Colbert.
Prior to this, Colbert talked about how expensive things are getting, joking that eggs are so expensive that this upcoming Easter is going to resemble the classic horror-thriller franchise “The Purge.” Hard to disagree!
Now before we get into those jokes, if you need context, as people reading this surely know, thanks to the chaotic, deliberately destructive policies of Donald Trump and Elon Musk, not only is the economy starting to look uncertain — literally less than two months after an almost unbroken multi-year period of growth and high employment under Joe Biden — but inflation is getting worse.
This inflation problem is typified with the high price of eggs, which are skyrocketing thanks to a combination of bird flu — which the Trump administration is making worse — and almost certainly price gouging.
Colbert talked about these matters in his monologue, noting, “thanks to rising inflation and Trump’s unpopular tariffs, consumer confidence is down, and businesses are also worried. Independent Businesses reported their third highest reading ever on the uncertainty index.”
This teed up a good joke however: “Now that sounds really bad. Then again, can you ever really know where you are on the uncertainty index?” Colbert quipped.
“One thing that continues to make consumers anxious is the high price of breakfast, and with bird flu, there’s no end in sight,” Colbert continued. “According to experts, egg prices could jump 41%, meaning this year’s Easter egg hunt is going to be the purge.”
“It’s getting so expensive, this is true, that here in New York, some bodegas are selling individual eggs, known as loosie eggs, to customers who can’t afford full cartons,” Colbert said, adding, “yum, loose eggs, and if you can’t afford those, there’s a guy in the alley in the back. I got jumbo whites, I got cage free organic brown. I got a couple double yolks and crack. I mean, it’s just it, it’s just a cracked egg, but you could smoke it.”
“People have gotten so desperate that since January, customs agents have stopped at least 90 people from smuggling eggs into the country,” Colbert continued, which brought him to the excellent pun. “The head of the smuggling operation? Pablo Eggs-Cobar?”
“Thanks, puppy. That’s our newest, that’s our newest staff member. Clucky, the joke judging chicken. Thank you for your service. Clucky,” he added.
You can watch the monologue below:
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